RELATIONSHIP DESIGN BEYOND COMPULSORY HETERONORMATIVITY AND MONOGAMY
I’m excited to share that I’ve submitted my final book chapter draft titled "Redefining Intimacy: Relationship Design beyond Compulsory Heteronormativity and Monogamy." This chapter dives deep into the complexities of intimacy and the myriad ways we can structure our relationships to better suit our needs.
1. Diverse Needs, Diverse Paths
People have different ways of getting their needs met. While some individuals may seek a single partner to fulfill all their emotional, romantic, and sexual needs, others might thrive in dating and/or engaging with multiple people to satisfy different aspects of their lives. Embracing this diversity can lead to more authentic connections. And most importantly, people can decide what’s best for them.
2. Evolving Relationship Structures
Relationship styles aren’t static; they often evolve based on who we’re dating, our life circumstances, and the nature of our relationships and connections. What works in one relationship may not fit another, and that’s perfectly okay! Recognizing and adapting to these changes can support fostering deeper intimacy and pleasure within our relationships.
3. Choosing Intimacy
For some, intimacy is exclusive to their romantic or sexual relationships; while for others, it’s not. Some people find deep connection and emotional closeness in other connections, including their platonic friendships. Intimacy and care manifest in various forms and settings and that is something to be celebrated. We get to decide where to foster more closeness; there is no right or wrong way.
4. No Right Way to Sequence Relationships
There’s no prescribed order for exploring intimacy and relationships. Some may feel comfortable exploring sex and intimacy before entering a romantic relationship, while others prefer to establish a relationship first. Both and/or all paths are valid, and it’s important that we honor our feelings and preferences without shame or judgement.
5. CO-CREATING RELATIONSHIPS
Most important, we have the agency to co-create and design our relationships. Each of us deserves relationships that affirm our identities and meet our varying needs (in whatever form(s) that takes!).
In my book chapter, I examine these nuances and explore how we can challenge traditional norms surrounding intimacy and relationships, especially in light of compulsory heteronormativity and monogamy.
Book Release Date: Coming Soon!
