COMING OUT DAY: THIS DAY IS YOURS!
October 11 is Coming Out Day; which can bring up different feelings for different people. For some, it is a day of nostalgia and excitement. For others, it’s a day of discomfort and overwhelm. For many, it’s a reminder of who they hope to be. There’s no right way to engage with Coming Out Day. Everyone gets to decide what is best for them.
1. It is a personal choice and decision
Some people come out and some people don’t. Everyone gets to assess their own relationships and situations to determine whether or not to share that personal information with someone else. Some people prefer to keep that information to themselves and that’s valid and okay! Plus, why do we expect people of some genders and sexualities to “out” themselves and not others? It’s a personal decision everyone gets to make for themselves.
2. people come out multiple times in their lives
Yes, it is common for people to come out more than once in their lives. And, this happens for lots of different reasons! As we gain new experiences and are introduced to new language, we may identify new labels and descriptors that better affirm our experiences and describe who we are. Come out as many times as you want/need!
3. trust yourself: you decide what is best for you
You get to determine your comfort and safety. There may be times where people try to guilt or shame you into making decisions that don’t feel good to you. Let that go. You get to decide WHO you want to share with and on your own timing. Coming Out is your story; and certainly not about people pleasing. If sharing who you are is going to compromise your safety, make the decisions and choices you need. If sharing you are is going to compromise your wellness, shelter, access to resources, etc —people can decide what information they want to share with others.
4. You get to decide your “how”!
Yes, people get to decide HOW they want to come out, if at all. Some folks may choose to have a face-t0-face conversation, a phone conversation, maybe a text exchange— or if you’re like me, maybe you’ll send an email. We all have different comfort levels and boundaries; and should be able to communicate in whatever ways feels most affirming to them. There is no right way to come out and everyone gets to design their experience for themselves.
5. our ancestors would be proud
They are proud. From Marsha P. Johnson to Miss Major to Audre Lorde to James Baldwin. They are so proud to witness you and to know you. These are my loves; who I firmly believe love and guide us. Remember: learning about who we are is something to celebrate and to honor. Gaining new insights into our loves, relationships with others and sense of self is something to cherish. Thank you for exploring and welcome to the family.
