YOUR BODY COUNT IS YOUR BUSINESS: and you decide what to do with it.
When it comes to relationships, sex, and intimacy, one topic that often gets a lot of attention is the concept of "body count." Body count refers to the number of sexual partners a person has had. Society often places an unnecessary amount of weight on this number, but there are many things I wish I knew sooner about body counts that could have made me approach the subject with more understanding, compassion, and freedom. Here are five key lessons:
1) People Can Decide If/Who to Share Their Body Counts With
The idea that everyone should openly discuss their body count is a societal expectation that isn't always necessary. People should have the freedom to decide if and when they want to share this personal detail with others, or if they want to share it at all. It’s important to recognize that body count is private information and no one owes it to anyone. Deciding not to share doesn’t make anyone dishonest or evasive. Your body count is yours to disclose—if, when, and how you feel comfortable.
2) Some People’s Body Counts Aren’t Their Decision Because of Sexual Assault, Coercion, or Manipulation
We can’t forget that, for many people, their experiences with intimacy may not have been by choice. Sexual assault, coercion, or manipulation can drastically affect someone’s body count and how they view their sexual history. It's crucial to approach discussions about body count with empathy, understanding that for some, their past may be marked by traumatic experiences. These are not choices, and no one should ever be judged or shamed for things beyond their control.
3) Someone’s Body Count Doesn’t Determine Their Value, Worth, or Health
The number of sexual partners someone has had does not define their worth, health, or moral character. Yet, it’s a stereotype that gets perpetuated. People often associate a higher body count with promiscuity or poor choices, while a lower body count is unfairly tied to purity or higher moral standards. This is an outdated and harmful belief. People are multifaceted and complex, and judging their value based on their body count completely disregards who they are as a person. Health is about consent, safety, and communication—not the number of partners someone has had.
4) It’s Not Okay to Judge Someone for Their Body Count
Judging someone for their body count is unfair, unkind, and unhelpful. Body count isn’t a measure of a person’s character, nor is it anyone else’s business unless they choose to share it. There are countless reasons why someone might have a certain number of sexual experiences—values, curiosity, circumstances, or just a desire for connection. The way we judge people based on their experiences is often influenced by societal pressures and double standards. We should aim to lift each other up rather than criticize others based on something so personal.
5) Body Counts Are Subjective—What's "High" or "Low" Is Up to the Individual
At the end of the day, what is considered a "high" or "low" body count is subjective. There is no universal standard for what’s acceptable, and it varies based on personal beliefs, cultural values, and even location. Some might think a body count of five is high, while others may consider 50 to be low. Ultimately, the number itself doesn’t matter—what matters is how a person feels about their experiences and how they approach their intimate relationships. People don’t have to share their body count unless they want to, and even then, it’s up to their discretion. Do you, boo—whatever that means to you!
