SDS 2023, you owe me nothing! This was my first time attending SDS --both as an attendee and an Event Manager! Attending SDS felt like being introduced to a whole new world. A world that welcomes pleasure and play. A world that encourages curiosity and discovery. A world that celebrates kink and sex-positivity. A world that unapologetically LOVES Black queer bodies. All of which was exactly what I needed.
Let me tell you, there were workshops for everyone! Some that caught my eye were:
*How to ride & be on top
*How to overcome fears with dirty talk
*Vulva show-and-tell
*How to select your perfect vibrator
*How to be an intentional domme
...and SO MUCH more.
Despite this being my first time, I was both in awe and yet, felt so at home. The theme this year was around Body Love. For me, this meant loving your body in all its forms. Loving your body when on top. Loving your body when in lingerie. Loving your body when sharing with another. Loving your body in how you talk to self. Loving your body in how you express yourself. Loving your body and not being afraid to be seen. I am so grateful to have been able to love on and to be loved on by so many beautiful bodies.
SDS is rooted in yes, play but also healing. There were also a variety of healing spaces (at least 3 different rooms) away from the main workshops and vendor lair-- full of massages, reiki, cuddle corners, nap spaces, shibari play and more. If someone was feeling activated, they had the options to go rest, get loved on, color, sleep, cuddled on and more. Did I take an entire full-bodied nap in the middle of the Emerald Sanctuary? We were working 18-20 hour days...you already know.
If someone wanted to lean into play, another form of healing I'd argue--they could explore the dungeon/labyrinth ran by Ms. K. The dungeon came with clear rules in place to make sure everyone was safe and comfortable. Surprised feels like a bit of an understatement but I was ...(pleasantly) surprised. The closeness. The intimacy. The willingness to connect and share bodies. This was one of the first times I've seen people willing to lean into play, unapologetically and so openly. Willing to communicate what pleasure looks like for them in that moment. To be in a space where all sensations of feeling good were celebrated, by those experiencing it and those witnessing that. This last week made me realize that there are like-minded people and communities who support the exploration of pleasure and truly relish in owning and claiming their pleasure. We really can have sacred spaces where we love ourselves and each other aloud.
Also, shout-out to ALL of the play and games that happened in the labyrinth. Y'all had to be there. Everything from a strap-a-thon, to Kinky Olympics... and so much more. And this is on top of the night meet ups, performances happening at the Little and Big Bang and of course at the after-after parties. One thing SDS knows how to do... is PARTY. We are here for both a good time---and hopefully a long time!
Thank you SDS for encouraging me to lean into my pleasure for the first time in a long while. I was immediately drawn to the wish board--where folks can write a wish and someone might help make it come true. I wrote 3 wishes; and lucky me, all 3 came true. I learned so much about myself at SDS, both personally and professionally-- I am so SO grateful to Co-Founders Marla and Tia for trusting me and bringing me onto the team. And huge thank you to my other half, Jaya -- I wouldn't want to event manage with anyone else! SDS is a black-femme led conference that truly celebrates pleasure, play, kink and learning. As a Black Queer Femme and Sex Ed Teacher, I've been to MANY conferences and I've never been to one like this. SDS is sacred. And is truly a gem.
This conference has something for everyone. I've already got my dates blocked for SDS24-- YEAR 10. Do you?
